Know your sextape sluts
What do Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian all have in common? If you don’t know, you’ve been living under a rock.
All three femme fatales have made a home sex video that has launched them to mega-stardom.
And they aren’t the only ones flaunting their sexual antics these days:
—- Despite allegedly receiving death threats, Britney Spears’ ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib is reportedly planning on selling a sextape of him and Brit.
— The Hills’ star Lauren Conrad is said to have a sex video floating around.
— Even Sex and the City’s innocent character Charlotte, a.k.a. actress Kristin Davis, recently found herself in a real-life sex scandal involving compromising photos.
Regardless of who it is, fans, voyeurs, and hopeless gossips can’t get enough.
Sixty million celebrity magazines are sold weekly, and 90 percent of their consumers are female. Yet both women and men eat up bootleg and legitimate commercial tapes of celebrity sex. Hilton’s tryst with then-boyfriend Rick Salomon sold around 600,000 copies alone. To say there’s a market is an understatement.
Why are we so fascinated? Why have celebrity sex tapes become such a sexual obsession?
Celebrities do it better.
Or at least they — and many of us — would like to think so. The grass is always greener on the other side and the Joneses these days go by the last names of Lohan, Durst, and Doll. Those with rock star status must have rock star sex, right? They have everything else that we’re supposed to want — money, fame and fortune. Flashier, slimmer, sexier … we’ve been made to think that celebs are just like us, only “better.” For many, they are who we aspire to be. Many are, naturally, curious to see what we can learn from their approach to loving.
Celebrities are our “friends.”
Thanks to the Internet, celebrities are more “accessible” than ever. They’re a part of our daily lives, whether or not it’s by choice. We’ve connected with the rich and famous in ways never before imagined, and this is especially true with the rise of reality shows. We feel like we “know” our celebrities. We’re familiar with their quirky characteristics, their latest nip’n’tuck surgeries, their heartbreaks and successes….What they do in the boudoir is simply an extension of knowing them so intimately.
Celebrities aren’t porn stars.
Unlike plotless porn videos, celeb sex offers us two things we thrive on when it comes to a sexual rendezvous: a context and emotion. In knowing who they’ve hooked up with, married, had kids with, fantasized about… these sex tapes are the soft (or hardcore) porn version of “Friends.” Better yet, we don’t feel nearly as dirty watching these videos because they’re not having sex for money or for your viewing pleasure. These tapes involve more than two sweaty, naked bodies writhing and sliding all over each other. Unlike most porn, there’s a mental element — an energetic exchange — to their sex, and that draws us in.
Celebrities are the “in crowd.”
When it comes to exploiting the sex lives of celebrities, society knows no shame. We revert back to high school in talking about these Hollywood prom kings and queens. They are the ultimate “it” crowd, and our fascination with their social status alone will always fuel our passion for their passionate moments. Plus, it’s a lot safer to gossip about famous people than your colleagues. We can spend hours spreading rumors and giving our take on the rich and famous because it’s not doing anyone we know any harm. Instead of bashing the co-worker who got that promotion over you thanks to nepotism, you don’t have to risk your reputation, professionalism or job by trash-talking A-list celebrities who are doing their own B-rated business.
Celebrity gossip makes us happy.
According to research out of the University of Ghent in Belgium, our brain cells light up in positive ways when we tune into tabloids. Gossip is an instant stimulator of endorphins. When the dirt gets dished, we’re happy campers. A smokin’ celeb’s hot sex life makes us feel good, providing escape from our own stressful, hectic lives. Hollywood also bonds us in this pleasure rush.
Celebrities normalize us.
If Tommy Lee or Jimi Hendrix has done something that many would label “kinky,” then we are no longer perverts. The proof is in the film. Celebs take the taboo and they make it pleasurable.
Celebrities make us feel good about our own lives.
Celebrity sextapes put “be careful what you wish for” into perspective. Many of us are guilty of our own sex home video pursuits. But how many of us have to worry about ours going global, even with the Internet? Through thick and thin, good economic times and bad, you can always count on some celebrity’s ex being crueler than yours — and making you feel that you don’t have it all that bad.
Celebrities aren’t perfect.
Despite having access to the best camera equipment, sets, directors, etc., celeb sex tapes look a lot like our own efforts. With poor lighting, unsteady cameras, body jiggles, and often unflattering wide-angle shots, we see it all. Nothing makes it onto the cutting room floor. We see the good, bad, and the ugly. And it all happens in “real time.”
At the end of the day, perhaps what we get out of the celebrity sextape is the amusement that comes with finding our inner sex voyeur. Even those who are anti-erotica have trouble escaping the natural curiosity that comes along with someone you know — even if from afar — going above and beyond acceptable levels of public displays of affection. With the celebrity sextape, we unconsciously bond over the unsaid fact that we’re all voyeurs. And we’re all getting a kick out of something we’re supposedly not intended to see.
Britey Spears and Keven are supposed to have made one. Gene Simmons of Kiss fame went to court to stop a sextape starring him from leaking out. Jimmy Hendrix porn video has just surfaced and sold at auction. Kid Rock may not have banged Pam on vid but he and Scott Stapp from Creed have been filmed humping a couple of teenage fans.
Bam Magera wrapped up Jackass fame with a sextape and Screech (Dusty Diamon) did the same. Chyna got down and dirty for the bucks but Tonya Harding supposedly had her honeymoon video tape stolen.
Cases of mistaken identity include Alyson Hannigan, and Lindsay Lohan. Both celebs insist it wasn’t them salivating all over some guys member during hardcore sex tape.
There’s even a sextape crime with the R Kelly pee fetish video. I suppose one has to say he was found not guilty because the 13yo said it wasn’t her on the film and lawyers for Kelly insist if the mole doesn’t fit, you must acquit.
Sextapes that seemed to rocket people to fame include Paris Hilton heiress video and there are a couple others of the girl people love to hate surfacing almost daily it seems. Another chick who fucked for the fame appears to be Kim Kardashian. Huge ass by the way in case you haven’t seen the sextape.
Keeley Hazell, Mimi Macpherson, Gena Lee Nolin have all done the celebrity nasty for their camera holding men and had it come back to bite them in the ass. Abi Titmuss even did the lesbian interracial thing for the xxx lens.
Stories abound about a Marilyn Monroe sextape but so far I haven’t seen even a photo grab much less a clip. That is also true of the Heidi Montag sextape… both her and costar Lauren Conrad have rumored celebrity sex tape movies out there but neither have seen the light of day.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
College Hill Interns sex tape Mr. Reese was a porn that went under the radar.
The Eva Longoria Sextape was just a funny fraud commited on gossip bloggers everywhere.
Buckeey sex tape provided us with some good anal activity.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Why do people tape themselves? I guess for the fun of it all. And some do it for fame. I don’t get it. Especially in this instant delivery YouTube era we now live in. Bob Marley’s granddaughter Donisha Prendergast (daughter of Marley’s daughter Sharon) and her boyfriend, Christopher ‘Johnny’ Daley of Lime Tree Lane, allegedly filmed one of their private intimate moments and the files are circulating around the web and from Sidekicks to Blackberries.
I have read that she is an aspiring actress, attended Howard University, and her boyfriend is an actor. There are rumors on the web that perhaps the boyfriend released the footage. Bob probably would not be happy to hear news like this.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Shock radio celebrity Wendy Williams who got famous for airing celebrities dirty linen in public and dispensing relationship advice to her callers, is now the object of ridicule after her husband’s sex tape was released on the Internet.
Her husband’s name is Kevin Hunter and being that it’s a different last name that Wendy so he’s allowed to bang other chicks since she didn’t take his name. I think it’s the 6th ammendment.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
JENNIFER TOOF AKA TOASTEE SEX TAPE (BLOWJOB, ORAL SEX, GIVING HEAD) … TOASTEE SEX TAPE.WMV
August 12th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Brandy’s brother Ray J and Kim Kardashian. It’s just under 100 mb Kim Kardashian sex tape and he pees on her after they fuck for a while.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Rumor has it that a drunken Vivica Fox performed oral sex on a male friend who secretly used his cell phone to record the “favor”. When the lucky guy e-mailed the video to his friends, it somehow got passed to her and she passed it onto the Atlanta Police Department.
August 20th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Verne Troyer, the 2′8″ actor who played Mini-Me, is now suing the woman he appears on a sex tape with.
The diminuitive actor says Ranae Shrider repeatedly beat him. He is seeking $20 million in damages for “infliction of emotional distress and battery.” Troyer’s lawsuit described one incident where Shrider picked a lock to his room, pushed away a 100 pound scooter that he used to block the door and proceeded to throw him around the room.
He also had a suit against gossip site tmz but that has since been dropped. Guess he came up short of proving something, lol I’m an ass. Oh and I hate his Gieco commercial.